22 & 3/4 months: Roller Coaster

"Are you noting all of the cute things Lucy says?" Nana asked. And I had to admit that it's been awhile since I've written down a list of your words or noted the cute things you do.
The last few weeks have been up and down. Julie received better news about her cancer, and so we are more hopeful about her future. Because of treatments, she will not be able to take care of you next school year. This is sad, of course, but we are all happy for the more positive prognosis.

About three weeks ago, we found out that your other grandma has breast cancer throughout her body. At first, the news was very bad, but now it seems there's hope for a longer life. It has truly been a roller coaster.

You move around so much faster now, and it's hard to keep up with your curiosities sometimes. As you reach your hands into dangerous areas, I find myself frowning and No!-ing and wondering if I'm teaching you "right". If I say no loudly, you get this worried look on your face. I don't want to be angry, but sometimes I'm so on edge, I can't find a more skillful way of dealing with a situation.

One thing that's happened, for sure, is that I'm much more careful about leaving possible hazards out in the open. And I'm neater overall. But then I wonder if this Anxiety I feel about What Could Happen?! is healthy. Tonight, for instance, I placed a small pair of scissors on our nightstand. Even though you were already in bed, I couldn't be sure that I would remember to put them away which led to a mini-drama unfolding in my mind which ended with the aforementioned scissor poking your eye (or ear, or leg, or...or....).

But I wanted to write about what you've been "doing".
You love to play hide and seek now, although you don't totally get the waiting part. It's so sweet.
Yesterday, when you were leaving with dad, you told me you loved me. It took my breath away, truly.
You've been putting two words together into coherent sentences, and you ramble on and on about other things. You love to read and ask to hear poems.
You love your baby dolls and now insist on sleeping with them. They must go with you, along with your books, in your orange Hello Kitty backpack.
When we were visiting your grandma Nancy in the hospital, you loved to walk in the halls. You would stop at each green square and do a little hop/squat dance.
You are so much more emotional and sure about what you want. You understand so much!
When you found your broken crayons or a hangnail, you started saying (very seriously) "oh shit". Umm, well, we are working on that one; now you are leaning toward "oh dear!" instead. It's very difficult not to laugh, but we're working on that too.

I've been worried about how to wean you in general, but specifically from your periodic middle of the night nurse time. It's purely for comfort (yours, not mine). Over the last few weeks, you just seem less interested in general. You're too busy! There are other, more interesting things to look at and that's fine with me. And then I started taking this cough medicine at night that has unknown effects, so I had to put my foot down on your nighttime allotment. And it's been surprisingly easy. You want me to hold you, swaying, for about one minute. Then you ask to go back into your crib with your baby and blanket. Amazing. There are easy things about you that make me hold my breath and wonder, "when will this end? I know it will end!" At dinner, you ask to take your vitamins and then clap your hands when you are finished. Dude. I know we are lucky.

Well, party on, my sweet! Grandpa Roy comes tomorrow and we can't wait. Until tomorrow....